You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
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