is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
