Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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