I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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