it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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