Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
should my penis look like a turkey
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
