Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal

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(502): View more from Kentucky

so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"

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(917): View more from New York City

I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea

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(319): View more from Iowa

We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.

(931): View more from Tennessee

BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...

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