i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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