note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
