Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
