i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
