I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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