ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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