I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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