Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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