My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
