thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
