There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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