Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize