So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
