The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
