We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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