He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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