The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
