I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
