I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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