U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
