I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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