i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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