also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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