I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
