She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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