decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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