no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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