You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize