i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
