Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
