is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
