She is in my trunk
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
