What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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