it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
