So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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