I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
