Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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