1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
