and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
