i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
