HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
