Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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