you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
