I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize