I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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