New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
