last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
