shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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