But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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