I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
we're so committed to being not committed
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
