u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
as a side note pls kill me
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
