I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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