My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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