She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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